The Grinch That Stole Football

The Grinch That Stole Football

I feel quite the misery guts writing this article at the start of what should be football’s fun season. For the next month fans of the beautiful game can wake up to that Christmas Day morning feeling every day. Savouring every kick from the sixty-four matches on offer. We won’t be able to watch them all, but we’ll try our damndest. But just like Christmas, it seems there has to be a time when the gloss and mystique falls away, where we remember it with nostalgia but see it for what it really is. In football we never had a moment where we realised Santa wasn’t real (he is, if there’s any children reading this) but we do have our own version of The Grinch. Joseph Blatter or Sepp. Quite fitting a nickname for a man that has become a septic shock to the world of football. Allowing greed and corruption to infect the once healthy body. The only time he isn’t lying is when he’s being absurd. He’s The Grinch that stole our game.

When I try to recall the first World Cup I can clearly remember, Italia 90 wins. There are moments of Mexico 86 that I have recollections of but they are hazy and contain only fleeting glimpses of games. The big picture, sense of tournament, the prestige, all came four years later. It was the World Cup in Italy I first lapped up. Each new record or minor pinnacle felt momentous. Watching Cameroon emerge, for example, was like a Hollywood movie. The whole tournament had that sense of grandeur, like I was watching the best – and ultimately for us England fans, painful – script ever. “Nessun Dorma” provided a great soundtrack and we even had a breakout star, a former unknown, with a cute name: Toto Schillaci. Okay, the final wasn’t great but we’d been served a classic tournament.

Italia90

Italia 90 will be remembered as a great World Cup because it was all about the football. Fast forward to Brazil 2014, or FIFA World Cup 2014 in Brazil as the governing body would like to have it, and all that sense of something special I felt back in 1990 has gone. Even just using “Italia” instead of Italy, as it would be packaged now, added to a one-off spectacle. Back then it wasn’t about FIFA, it was for football. You could argue I viewed my first “proper” World Cup with rose tinted glasses. Maybe? But I’m not so sure children today are watching events in South America with that same sense of excitement. Leading into the tournament the talk has all been about unfinished stadiums, riots, corruption, Sepp Blatter.

The opening ceremony was a chance to put the negatives behind us and – with no rose tinted glasses available – take off the reality specs for a short while. I really tried. There was nothing more I wanted when I settled down to watch the opening of the cup last night than to be absorbed by Brazil. I wanted them to surprise and shock me. Deliver a taste of their culture. Make my already high levels of anticipation burst. Instead I was given what looked like a failed school project mess around for twenty minutes before J-Lo and a man named “Pitbull” (whom could well be Right Said Fred trying to escape extradition like “Buster” Phil Collins before him) sing into microphones that hadn’t been correctly connected to speakers.

I hate to mention money because it’s the root of the problems within the game but it’s hard to see where $9 million dollars went for that ceremony. London 2012 showed us that it is possible to do a ceremony on a budget (£27 million spread across all four ceremonies associated with both Olympic and Paralympic games, each longer than the thirty minutes Brazil managed). In Qatar! What About Brazil? I discussed that money has disappeared and been wasted during World Cup preparation. Last night you saw with your own eyes how $9 million could disappear on a yellow ground sheet, a swirly ball from nineties Ibiza, and a few school art classes. It’s easy to see how $11.4 billion – yes, billion – has been seen as a waste to the Brazilian public.

For the youthful eye we did have a decent first match but even that has been the topic of controversy this morning. The ref awarded Brazil a weak penalty and many believe Croatia denied a fair goal. The last thing the organisers needed was any black marks against the first match. They need Brazil to perform well to win over a disgruntled public. They have a long way to go. Clashes and riots continued after the game. The ITV studio even got pelted, although to place that in some sort of context, they had subjected the airwaves to ninety minutes of Andy Townsend and Clive Tyldesley – so probably deserved. The ITV coverage sandwiched the match between clips of riots followed by reports of more riots. Nostalgia or not for Italia 90, times have changed. The game has changed.

Olympic rings

Where did it all go wrong then? It’s when FIFA stopped acting as a benevolent protector of the sport and became interested in greed, power and money. If one thinks of the Olympics they’ll recognise how they try to put sport front and centre. After that they express a real desire to carry the momentum of the games forward to the next generation in the form of its legacy. Unity and respect binds these ideals. I’m not saying the International Olympic Committee (IOC) is perfect but the biggest scandal to emerge from an Olympic games is an athlete failing a drugs test. In the build-up they do have the pressures and negative reports about areas struggling to be completed in time, but on the ground, in the countries where it happens, they are all pulling in the same direction to get the job done. The long list of Summer Olympic controversies is invariably made up of sporting disputes. Rarely – if ever – do you consider the IOC as an evil big business.

For football it’s a different story. Commercialism, capitalism, cash – they’re FIFA motifs. And dictatorships. The on-field errors teams accept, the game moves on. The main controversies surrounding the sport come from the exterior. Corruption claims that grow, appearing more substantial by the day, are dealt with nonchalantly by Sepp Blatter. His latest remark, met with many groans, was saying the British press were racist for calling the Qatar bid into question. I can only assume Ali G is one of his advisors. To make such an unsubstantiated statement shows how far removed from reality he is.

He is fair and gives everyone a chance to see his senility. In another moment of magic he spoke about how the World Cup would one day be played on other planets. That it’d become an Intergalactic Cup. You’d have to fear coming up against the Klingons in this scenario, a big, tough, industrious team. But they’d all bear a resemblance to Joleon Lescott so would leak the odd silly goal. Remember this is the same obtuse man that remarked women’s football should be played in tighter clothes to attract male viewers. So a jump to Galaxy Football isn’t that far a stretch in his head.

Maybe one day there will be calls for a unified World Cup but it’ll have nothing to do with little green men on Mars. It could well be after nations and confederations divide, creating multiple world champions playing in separate tournaments. Boxing is in my holy trinity of sports (I must be attracted to ones embroiled in corruption claims) and in the 1960s saw multiple Heavyweight Champions when the separate WBA and WBC belts came into operation. Since then the situation has snowballed, there are now handfuls of belts and several different bodies seen as legitimate. But the fan always knows who the true champion is. Mayweather could sell PPVs as the best in the world without a title and no one would argue. At the end of his career Lennox Lewis could have fought for chocolate buttons and every heavyweight in the world would have dreamt of having them over gold.

We wouldn’t ever want the World Cup to be undervalued this way. It should always remain an undisputed focal point. It is okay to have the debate that the Champions League has a better standard than international football nowadays, maybe in that sense the World Cup isn’t the hardest to win. But it remains the most prestigious. To see it undermined by having multiple international World Trophies would be a great shame. But people have breaking points. Sponsors are calling for corruption claims to be taken seriously and the man on the street doesn’t trust FIFA anymore. Sepp currently has the backing from the majority of confederations. But these poorer areas have been directly served by his wealth. He has bought their voice. He has no support within UEFA, though. An area of the world that demands transparency and doesn’t require handouts to operate.

We’re being sold a product that’s no longer legit. The man selling it publically lies – even on the issue about standing down after his current term. FIFA are supposed to be non-profit, like the IOC. Instead they swallow up dirty money faster than they lose creditability. Someone needs to take a stand. There is a sign that within the seemingly tight stranglehold of FIFA’s overbearing rules flex and manoeuvre exists. Take for example straight red cards. Under Blatter’s Law they – regardless of TV replays – should be adhered to with immediate suspension by the governing FA, without a chance of recourse. He wants his little SS officers on the pitch to be the first and final say. The English Premier League ignores this order from the Fuehrer. Allowing straight reds (but not two yellows) to receive an appeal. FIFA have never intervened.

Perhaps the threat of an additional tournament played outside of FIFA’s jurisdiction would be enough to bring sense back to the table. Or even a breakaway club cup in the summer. The unfairly treated, FFP-punished oil-rich teams could let Qatar have a warm up competition. Played under the guise of a friendly but offering a healthy boost to club coffers. It may take this sort of action to show Sepp Blatter and his cronies they can’t keep playing with our sport for political gain. The fear is we end up with Michel Platini as a direct replacement. But if enough people collectively stop dancing to the beat of FIFA’s drum there’s a chance a healthy alternative will appear.

World Cup

Until then I’m going to enjoy the sixty-four games, focusing my attention to just the matches. The Grinch may have stolen the innocence of game. FIFA may have lost credibility. But he’ll never take away twenty-two men on the pitch.

Enjoy the World Cup.

A Human Tale

A Human Tale
Coldplay’s latest offering, Ghost Stories, hit the shops on Monday, revealing a change of pace compared to its predecessor. It also strips back Chris Martin’s shell and reveals what he went through when splitting with Gwyneth Paltrow. This doesn’t mean it’s the gloomy album some would have you believe, it happens to be uplifting in surprising ways.
 
Much focus has been made about the album’s opening words (“I think of you, I haven’t slept”) but that’s been a hook used by some to conclude the album starts low and swims in its own self-induced depression. This must come with the territory when a band becomes the biggest in the world; there are always people ready to snipe. Also, Mylo Xyloto was high-energy grandiose commercial rock, this starts with a reserved feel. But the DNA from the previous album is there in those first gentle sounds. It’s rumoured that when the band started Mylo Xyloto they planned it to be a double album, one half of which would have featured a stripped-back sound. That never materialised and what we got was Coldplay’s extravagant peak.
 
Perhaps during the recording of Mylo Xyloto it was decided to save the acoustic inspired set pieces for another day, after all, they had something on their hands that didn’t deserve to be pegged back. The previous tour wouldn’t have become the action-packed fantasy if they had been obligated to include tracks from a stripped down section. It’s that side we get now with Ghost Stories, but that’s not to say it’s an afterthought or leftovers; considering the subject matter it’s all Martin’s real thoughts and his everything. What makes it progressive as a musical performance is the hint of the last album’s opening track existing in the vibe that kicks off “Always in My Head.” It’s subtle, but so was the “conscious uncoupling” of the two albums.
 
“Magic” is already comfortably sitting alongside songs like “Fix You.” It’s remarkable after all these years they can seemingly produce such a classic at will. Any doubters about the positive nature of the record need look no further. Has a break-up song before now ever been so thankful for the former relationship? The following song, “Ink,” lyrically may delve into Martin’s pain but it’s counterbalanced by the chirpy beat. It’s only when we get to “Midnight” that we wallow in an electric purgatory as we contemplate the meaning of his loss.
 
“Another’s Arms” continues this idea in a more tangible light. The choir that leads us into the song shows that the duet with Rhianna is now light years away from the way to achieve dramatic effect. This reflective Mylo only needs his thoughts.
 
The song that follows steps away from the new-DNA and could have easily been on the Brothers and Sisters EP. Having said that, “Oceans” doesn’t feel out of place, which can only be testament to their talent. It could well be this flip-back to the older sound that has made some liken the entire album to Parachutes, some have even mentioned X&Y, but Coldplay have evolved into a different band since those albums. Music is like comedy, very subjective, so some new fans will be disappointed it doesn’t follow up with a sound similar to the last album, while at the same time long serving fans with cling to anything indicating that the old Coldplay still exist. One song shouldn’t pigeon hole an entire album, though.
 
“A Sky Full Of Stars” follows and, personally, I see it as the only dip across the nine songs. There’s no doubt it’ll be a singles hit and a soundtrack to the summer. And critics of albums that linger in self-pity too much, accusing them of becoming drab, may welcome a dancey number, but it feels disingenuous when viewed as part of a concept album. I won’t go as far to suggest it was just made for a commercial hit, but if others do I won’t correct them.
 
 
“O” is the sort of uplifting song that exists so we don’t need a forced, false, jumpy peak. The lyrics form a beautiful metaphor of hope and acceptance, with a simple bass and piano for company. On the subject of lyrics, some areas of the press have criticised Martin’s efforts as being overly simple and lacking depth. While I’ll admit there aren’t any profound statements that better quantify the loss of a human relationship found here, what we do get served works well in the arena that’s been set. Also, when in the eye of the storm, still in the moment of heartbreak, it’s hard to step back and describe one’s true emotions – everything is too raw.
 

 

Years from now Martin may see the woods after stepping back from the trees and revisit this painful period with better clarity. In those intervening years this album will take its rightful place amongst their best. You won’t always fancy lively Coldplay, or guitar Coldplay (I think I’ll always have a spare hour in my day for A Rush of Blood To The Head) but when you want chilled Coldplay this is where you’ll go. I have faith that wherever they decide to take the sound next will be a story worth listening to.
 
 

Make FFP Morally Fair

Make FFP Morally Fair

There’s no point arguing against Financial Fair Play anymore. With Manchester City accepting the punishment offered by UEFA, a court battle that could have shuck the system will never be realised. I can’t blame the club for this, they require stability for the team and the third party sponsors attached to them. A quick resolution prevents it becoming an unhealthy distraction. Even though I disagree with FFP it looks like it’s here to stay. This being the case, all I ask now is: why don’t we have a morally fair FFP in place? People have been very vocal about Manchester City “just buying the league” and having an unfair advantage but these sorts don’t mind the established big clubs having an unassailable monetary advantage already. Today I ask them why they never offered an alternative that made it the same for everyone, instead of a closed shop for the big boys at the top.

These supporters of Financial Fair Play are so hung up on the rules being broken, that there is no other outcome than a punishment for clubs like City. Presumably these sorts never exceed 70mph on the motorway, never cross the road when the Red man is showing even if it’s clear, and have never littered – because rules are rules. To these law abiding citizens, that have such a strong sense of morality, I simply ask: Why have you never suggested a version of Financial Fair Play where wealth is completely negated?

Playing Devil’s advocate, and ignoring the legal and business implications (you’ll allow me this as it seems these are ignored anyway where FFP is concerned), why don’t we create a simplified, truly fair, level playing field version of FFP? Financial Fair Play fans feel so aggrieved by Manchester City’s wealth, it stands to reason they must be equally angered by other clubs that can naturally afford high wages and dominate the transfer market, because I’d hate to think for a minute they are hypocrites.

Instead of complicated interpretations regarding FFP’s guidelines that stretch the credibility and constructs designed to enforce soft wage caps and arrest transfer spending, let’s just set a clearly defined a wage limit and net transfer spend per season. All the top leagues in Europe could be reviewed and a mean average of safe expenditure determined. It’d mean the smaller clubs may still be a little off being able to afford the wage cap, but not by much, and the top clubs would no longer be able to throw excessive cash at every player; every marquee signing would mean less to spend elsewhere.

Players would be attracted by facilities, which healthy owners already care about. The mean average spend could be worked out for each tier of league across Europe, creating a unified cash ecosystem. The limit on spend would mean the clubs with high incomes from worldwide support could of course be greedy, they’d still have a high ticket and merchandise turnover but, thanks to a morally fair set of rules, be able to spend less to accrue them. Hopefully this would have another positive knock-on effect: a more affordable product for the fans as clubs are pressured into lowering ticket prices. We’d be left with every club playing with the same set of parameters and every fan not dipping as deep into his pocket.

This idea was probably hushed away as soon as it was first formed during the genesis of Financial Fair Play. The big clubs would never agree to handing back their cash advantage, they just don’t want new clubs appearing with oil cash. And many got on board with FFP for the right reasons but then followed blindly. Like Nazi soldiers believing the evil regime’s propaganda machine, they’ve lacked the ability to step back and see the bigger picture. They’ve been so firm in their belief, they have never stopped to ask if what they are suggesting is a fair system. From a business point of view they never cared if it was fair to introduce a system that would retard the growth of new-money clubs, they just snapped their heels together and shouted “Rules!” The demand for order and adherence to Financial Fair Play meant they never stopped to ask if the idea was correct. Not the business side of it, but the moral issue of ensuring small clubs will be forever alienated. The lack of fervour there means we goose step forward, away from the football as we know it.

FFPDystopia

We’ll find ourselves living a future we should never have visited. Finances may even start to look better on spreadsheets, but a Doncaster or a Rotherham may have been denied their Champions League run, clubs will have stopped investing on infrastructure. It’ll appear healthier but in truth it’ll have been stunted. The big clubs will be unreachable, and as a Manchester City fan I expect to be sat in that elite grouping – but I am far from comfortable with such a scenario.

Perhaps football’s saving grace lies within. I am always wary when a person has a second team (“Oh, they are my Premier League team,” or “That’s my London club.”) but a second team that is an extension of your own would be fine. The B Teams playing in a League Three could generate a wealth of young talent to equalise the money at the top. But that’s a chat for another day.